dramatic

How can we have created all this art without some of it being real. A trail of footsteps leading up to a lamppost next to the river. narnia or something like it. Show me, please, I don’t want to have to lose everyone before I know that’s true. Over edified, cultured cultured cultured, and the snow all glittery white. So glittery, only like this when I was little living with mom and dad and leah, we could walk to the park. Ice sculptures on the sidewalk one week every winter. I’d ice skate on the cement and it was cold and it was night and it was okay. Oh my god the flood of memories of childhood. They haven’t gotten ahold of me for so long, but now they are choking me at the neck. A tidal wave of tears and the insatiability

One of the hardest things to do is be alone. But one person will never be enough. Do we need other people? Is it a basic human need? i wish i was a writer. i wish i believed i could do it, was good at it.



This is what it feels like not to be in love. this is what it feels like not to be in love.
The hollow cover enormously frozen over the snow.
Rushing, scraping out a valley like a flood.
Lays still with the crisp wind ripping through places where birds songs used to be.
A portal and a black hole for our memories.

I don’t hear my footsteps anymore.
I just think of you during my walk home.
Or maybe all I hear is my footsteps.
All I hear is my footsteps trying to replace the thought of you.

Comes with it a cloth of fakeness gagging voices
wrapping like a blindfold round more and more faces
Tightening limbs to the confinements we create from being distanced.
Convincing us that comfort lies in convenience—
to touch only what is within reach
and pretend pretend pretend it satisfies.

With age our needs do change,
and we will settle for what is near.
We will press the truth down to the end of our boots,
rub it soft into the leather
so that it becomes something external of our minds,
and we can ever try to forget each other.

The light is dim in January, and I feel right to sit beneath it.