march, this month of mine

it is interesting how college makes us define ourselves--to deliver personal statements, identify our beliefs and values. I have reached a point in my life where i feel confident to cement my character with a mission statement. But there is something exceedingly wrong with this finality. It's as if I'm leaving behind the essence of who i want to be--losing a sense of openness so many tend to abandon when growing up.

. . . . . .

so many changes a person can go through in just a few months. i think i managed to to entirely lose sight of love, and while i would like to blame, i brought the situation upon myself. and yet amidst the revalation and cycles my body overturns, here i am again sitting at the edge of this murky brown river feeling the way i have thirty times before. it's just that now i have one more experience, one more phrase to think about.

as i look up, i see the long-necked geese flying swiftly overhead. with my head craned up like this and the early spring cools settles in with the gray blue dusk, i think of camping at age five. the orange tan canvas tents, ties flapping in the wind. arms out, running running running down to the lake. the same coolness, the same cloudy dusk but it was summer, and i had no expectations. absolute absence of cognition.

and now sitting in this grass, out open in the cloud and comfort cool. i am oh so ever ready, expecting for a meteorite to come soaring out the sky, blowing it all away right before my eyes. and before i know it, me with it, too.