the tragedy of college

in reflecting on all the events of last quarter, i can only feel that every day has been and is continuously washed away. each one is so unique and holds so many tiny, tremendous variables that hold so much weight to me. no day will ever repeat itself here, thus making it that much more difficult to appreciate each and every one; to be cognizant of each and every one's subtleties. i think of mike standing out in the cold just outside my door, waiting to be let in. he is wearing a blue vest, the same one that hangs in my closet now. i open the door and he hugs me with cold hands. such a small moment, but attached are the thousands of interactions we've had over the past 8 months, and all the future instances we will have together, not able to imagine how much each will affect us.

now he does not have to wait and shiver outside when i run downstairs to let him in. the weather is warmer now, and i'll never see him outside that door again wearing that vest. in months this will all be washed away into something else. there are no consistent boundaries. we are constantly in flux, adapting to the disturbances rather than maintaining a way of life.


love one. love them all.
lose that one. lose them all.

it's interesting how the night takes it all away from you. and amazing that you can feel so alone that you break your own heart and all you can do is sleep.